What's on my mind 4
He is so tender. I needed have no concern about voicing what this is. We tread a fine line in unison, not neglecting that there is something beyond the fab sex but not quite defining what, either.
He. Is. So. Elegant.
I love it.
Being treated like I am a princess, even when I am sitting on him, gasping, covered in sweat and bodily fluids. And I have so much lust for him and the fact that he is so understated about his lust for me, makes it better. He is not all over me, he is keeping the distance I (and he?) need. I need to be lured out of me. I want to give everything I have to give, but not if taken for granted, expected to or cajoled into giving. He seems to understand that, or better even, feel the same. I want to spend time with him, to get to know him, he is really getting under my skin; I like what I learn about him and I told him so much. We seem so compatible with some things. With respect for our individual habits, with a natural reticence to invade, to control, to take over. This is all developing so smoothly that I wonder if we're naturals.
He bought me Summerbird and I loved to share my joy for it with him. We had tea and I marveled over the jasmin tea. The real date at Umami, he touched my arm so softly, maybe sensing that I was nervous, not at all feeling the worldly, spoiled woman that I suspect myself to be. I think he liked my dress and I put so much effort into choosing it, choosing the shoes and earrings to go. He ordered sushi when at his place Friday. Showing that he remembered me speaking about sushi. He lent me his earphones, opening up a whole new musical world for me.
He makes me feel like a 14-year old, hungering for a kiss, which he won't give me right away. He teases me, so softly untill I can almost take it no more. And then he owes up and give in. It's like we're dancing constantly, moving fluidly and gracefully around each other, in our texts, when meeting up IRL. I have never been courted in this way before, with this much elegance and attention to me. And I am not an easy person to read, but he seems to understand me, move forward a step and take my budding affection a step further, or move back, leave options open for me when he senses he might be going to far.
And the funny thing is that it all feels so new. God knows I have been courted in my time, with words, flowers, gifts and gestures. But it seems to mean nothing next to his attention. I have wanted to give him a gift these days, to show him my affection, I want to let him know I care about him, regardless of the sex. That I really like him. I thought about making homemade bread for him, but it would be so tacky and what if he don't like it. And it blows my mind that these are the thoughts I am having about him. That these are my thoughts.
I feel like playing no games with him. I didn't keep him waiting for a text yet, I have made no secret of my desire to spend time with him, I have answered all his calls or called him back ASAP. I haven't felt the need to withdraw or cool him down a bit. I haven't *not* wanted to hear from him, actually I think I haven't woken one morning without him on my mind. Even if just to check hopefully for a text from him. I feel like I am walking on glass with him, I so, so, so want this to... not end. I am scared out of my wits that I might ruin something, with my honesty, with my very obvious sexuality, with my need for independence. But he skirts my boundries, notices me, pays attention to me and doesn't overdo it.
He keeps me coming back for more.
He. Is. So. Elegant.
I love it.
Being treated like I am a princess, even when I am sitting on him, gasping, covered in sweat and bodily fluids. And I have so much lust for him and the fact that he is so understated about his lust for me, makes it better. He is not all over me, he is keeping the distance I (and he?) need. I need to be lured out of me. I want to give everything I have to give, but not if taken for granted, expected to or cajoled into giving. He seems to understand that, or better even, feel the same. I want to spend time with him, to get to know him, he is really getting under my skin; I like what I learn about him and I told him so much. We seem so compatible with some things. With respect for our individual habits, with a natural reticence to invade, to control, to take over. This is all developing so smoothly that I wonder if we're naturals.
He bought me Summerbird and I loved to share my joy for it with him. We had tea and I marveled over the jasmin tea. The real date at Umami, he touched my arm so softly, maybe sensing that I was nervous, not at all feeling the worldly, spoiled woman that I suspect myself to be. I think he liked my dress and I put so much effort into choosing it, choosing the shoes and earrings to go. He ordered sushi when at his place Friday. Showing that he remembered me speaking about sushi. He lent me his earphones, opening up a whole new musical world for me.
He makes me feel like a 14-year old, hungering for a kiss, which he won't give me right away. He teases me, so softly untill I can almost take it no more. And then he owes up and give in. It's like we're dancing constantly, moving fluidly and gracefully around each other, in our texts, when meeting up IRL. I have never been courted in this way before, with this much elegance and attention to me. And I am not an easy person to read, but he seems to understand me, move forward a step and take my budding affection a step further, or move back, leave options open for me when he senses he might be going to far.
And the funny thing is that it all feels so new. God knows I have been courted in my time, with words, flowers, gifts and gestures. But it seems to mean nothing next to his attention. I have wanted to give him a gift these days, to show him my affection, I want to let him know I care about him, regardless of the sex. That I really like him. I thought about making homemade bread for him, but it would be so tacky and what if he don't like it. And it blows my mind that these are the thoughts I am having about him. That these are my thoughts.
I feel like playing no games with him. I didn't keep him waiting for a text yet, I have made no secret of my desire to spend time with him, I have answered all his calls or called him back ASAP. I haven't felt the need to withdraw or cool him down a bit. I haven't *not* wanted to hear from him, actually I think I haven't woken one morning without him on my mind. Even if just to check hopefully for a text from him. I feel like I am walking on glass with him, I so, so, so want this to... not end. I am scared out of my wits that I might ruin something, with my honesty, with my very obvious sexuality, with my need for independence. But he skirts my boundries, notices me, pays attention to me and doesn't overdo it.
He keeps me coming back for more.
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