Laidback

I am feeling very lazy these days. Actually I felt lazy for some time now, and I am still waiting for my energy to surprise me; for my need to do stuff, to resurface. But it doesn't really happen.

I am still not painting.
I am still not photographing a lot, I am still not learning French (again) and my sewing machine is gathering dust under my bed.
I started doing my design-reel but I really am not working a lot on it; I bought books today and feel more like taking them out in the sun, lounge around with cold beverages, eat cake and just sleep a lot. I sleep so very well this last week, and wake up feeling happy and sensual, surrounded by images of nice dreams I had.

But I don't really sleep a lot, the sun is not warm enough for me (yet), my days slip away through my fingers and I really am enjoying myself.
Same with work.
I want to organize things, make the restaurant even better, translate our menus into English and so on. But I never really get 'round to it. We're busy enough and I care more about our guests than about things. I spend a lot of time talking to people about wine and food lately. And it pays off. I feel happier working and I get more tips than ever.

But I don't understand it. It really is not very much like me. - I love all this laid-back-ness (laid-back-dom ?) but I keep a close eye on me, to see what happens.

I have a sneaking little suspicion that has been forming over the last few days.
I think I finally feel *over* the depression I almost slipped into.
Or over this whole thing of coming back to Denmark. While it has been a great adventure, it has been something of a trauma as well. A lot of getting used to. I think I finally feel safe. And hopeful. So finally I can relax totally. And that might be what I am doing. So I let myself.

Comments

Nix said…
well... it seems you'ready for brazil
that sounds like the perfect mood to get by around here
kyllyan said…
@Nix:
oooh dearest. That an invitation ? You know I would love to come.
k
Nix said…
i'm here until the 20th of june
dunno if you can make it before then
but Zalma is coming to italy at the end of july
it would be lovely if you can get down there
around that time

beijos
kyllyan said…
@nix:
I can't make it, and my question was really hypothetical. But I will come sooner or later. And end of July might be the perfect time for my summervacations, I am in dire need of heat and sun. And friends, come to think of it =). But let's talk more, when june comes 'round. And say hi.
K

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