What's on my mind

but not on my lips (as long as there's any possibility of his lips on mine):

What is this ? Are we dating ? Semidating ? Does two semi-dates equal one date ?
Do I want to date, am I ready ?
What french movie did he see, that wasn't the least arty-farty ?
Is he curious about me ( I know he doesn't follow my blog) and if yes,  why doesn't he ask; is he *that* shy ?

I tried to semi-explain (semi-everything here ?) that I don't know whether I am ready to date again (and I don't know if I am) but I get distracted around him, my eyes lock on to his, won't let go and I end up, stuttering and stammering like a 16-year old. Tried to appeal to his understanding, told him I have no conclusions but that I felt I needed to say something. He nested his hand in my hair (heaven) and chased away strong, decisive me and all of my words. I managed to tell him "you're distracting me like that" before reason went out the door and he just looked me in the eye and said (so kindly) "let's take it as it comes". I don't know what to tell him, I feel like a fool.
And I have stuff to say, things to ask, I would love to have him tell me something about himself, see him get lost talking, warming up to it. But his deep voice tickles my tummy and I just want to suck his lower lip and see his eyes unfocus.

Of course he's right. Let's take this as it comes. No conclusions. But more kisses lead to more something and things may conclude themselves even if I (and he) won't. And I have no idea what he wants from me, I want to get to know him (and possibly before I suck his lower lip some more) but this whole lust for him blocks me. I can think of nothing else, I can't even explain it.

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