I am tempted

to have an hour-long bath, complete with soundtrack, soap suds, wineglass and candles on the edge of the tub. It's been a very long and stressing day. But I've got work to do, laundry to fix and i can't allow myself the luxury of sinking into myself. Because that's exactly what I do when I go through a difficult moment.

I sink down to the bottom of myself, down to the basics, where there's only what I see, what I smell, feel, taste and feel. I can't sink any deeper, it's the beginning of everything.
When I strip down to the basic senses and stop trying to find any meaning, reason and conclusions, then I'm living the NOW.
It's comforting and safe. And it's where I finally breathe, just exist and where i eventually relax.

I'll get to that.

Second temptation:

grant my last request and just let me hold you,
don't shrug your shoulders,
lay down beside me
sure i can't accept that we're going nowhere,
but one last time, let's go there,
oh lay down beside me

Comments

Anonymous said…
Most of us spend a lifetime getting there. To that place, where our consciousness is a circle of trust. An spiritual pole where every road leads away from and towards the same place.
I wish you would stay there, just for a little while.
kyllyan said…
@penpal:
i did stay there for just a while. I had my long bath this morning, and the "magic" post was the result, even if it posted as yesterday.
My buddhist-friend Luisa speaks of it as being very Zen, being and living the moment, and "non-struggle". As if it is desirable to live there. I think I have too much of a temper to live like that, I get carried away, but I sure keeps those moments precious for breathing =)
Anonymous said…
... and thats what I'm talking about. Kind of a ground zero to be used once in a while to get your priorities straight..

To take charge of your batteries, so to speak ...
Anonymous said…
Prova a concederti davvero, Baby.

Prova a lasciarti andare, prova a consegnare la tua vita nelle mani di un uomo e lascia che anche lui faccia altrettanto con te.

Credo che Amare significhi entrare in una storia, vivere una persona con la consapevolezza di sentirsi indifeso, nudo, “senza via d’uscita”, come trovarsi in una …stanza chiusa a chiave. J

Tu invece lasci sempre una porta o una finestra aperta… sei sempre in grado di riprenderti la tua vita in mano e portarla da un’altra parte.

E tutto questo, in un tempo brevissimo. Incredibilmente breve.

E finchè non riuscirai a fare questo, vivrai solo passioni momentanee, avventure.



Mi dispiace tanto, perché sei una donna che può dare tanto, tantissimo.

Se una donna stupenda, ma forse non sei mai stata davvero innamorata.

E quando lo sarai davvero, capirai queste mie parole.

Ora non puoi capirle e riesci a fare solo del male.

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