Thanks

A guy asked for my number a couple of weeks ago, at the restaurant where I work. We had been chatting pleasantly about wine, food and Italy while I took their order (he was there with another guy), brought them their food, and now he asked for the bill and a phonenumber.
I didn't know what to say.

It is maybe a first. I have been working in clubs for many years and had gotten used to some attention from the opposite sex, but I didn't expect it here. I know, I have been down for a while, didn't feel so very hot and all that. Top that with the fact that I actually had a boyfriend at the time even if we were taking a break.
This guy was pleasant, my own age-ish and from Jutland as I am. Sort of hot in a good-guy-but-with-a-stubble-he's-gorgeous-kind of way. But I didn't really see this last part untill he asked for my number. I said something to the effect of "coming right up" and then I returned with his bill. He was already standing up when I got back to his table and he towered over me. Tall too, and very wellbuilt. I looked him in the eye, gave him his bill, turned around and walked away back to the bar where I could hide. And sent someone else to pick up the money. Good tips too.

My first feeling about this whole thing was sheer joy and adrenalin. Damn, I was feeling hot again. I relived it over and over again in my head, mentally examining every last detail, trying to come up with more, and I felt the same joy everytime. Wow, he wanted my number. And while I was not in a place where I could see myself dating, it was damn good to know that he found me attractive. I didn't realize how much I missed that. And ok, I realize it's easy to be hot, blonde and blueeyed in Italy, but I had gotten used to it, so shoot me.

After a few days I started to feel something else. I started to feel like a coward. Without balls. Fuck, this guy had put himself out there, he asked for the bill and my number, I give him the bill and not even an explanation ? Nothing ? I actually stare him straight in the eye and can't say nothing, can't even acknowledge his request ? I replayed the whole thing over in my head once again, imagining myself stutter and stammer. What would I have told him ? That I was in the middle of a weird breakup ? That I am taking a break with my boyfriend (isn't breaks just fear of admitting it's over? Isn't breaks for 14-years-olds ?)? That ... what dammit ?

While I don't think I am ready for dating again, I feel grateful. And I find myself hoping we will come back so I can tell him that his request for my number made my day. And thank him.

Comments

Uden Relevans said…
This made me smile in a foolish kinda way. It feels warm to my hear.
kyllyan said…
@Morfar: That's good to hear =)
kyllyan said…
@morfar: OMG, det var ikke dig vel =) ?

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